I thought I had so much to say to the world so many feelings to get out that I would be blogging three and four times a day but I do good if I get out one good blog a week.. I thought I had all this knowledge in my head that other people might relate too..that I could encourage someone and tell them how I over came this and this and that..well I’m finding out it doesn’t work that way..
Like depression for instance it’s nothing that’s gonna go away for me .. it’s always in the back of my head..it’s the reason I have days I dread getting up..days that I do get up and function but everything is a push..I push myself through the day to move about doing housework.. I thought by now this depression would be long go and I would be on my new happy me but guess what it’s still freakin here.. Yea I thought I would be blogging how to break free from depression and live a normal life..not the case for me.. I’m still struggling to get out of bed everyday and be normal for my grand babies..
I thought by now I would be blogging about how my chronic back pain just up and left my body.. but no that is not the case.. I still suffer everyday and I have yet to find anything to relieve the pain..because my pain is on the inside, you are always justifying that you are sick .. or you can’t lift or stand very long because it hurts..but I manage to spend time with your grand babies because they give me life and take my mind off the pain.. I thought I would be blogging information on chronic pain and what I learned but all I’ve learned is how to get through a day..
I thought my blog would be full of faith and scripture and how Jesus has delivered me from all my afflictions and set me free.. How at every turn He has been right there for me..and He has..I know that I can do nothing on my own strength but He is my strength..when I wanted to give up it was Jesus who pulled me through..It was Jesus that pick me up when I thought I would never get over losing my grandma.. it was Jesus that die on the cross for sin that I can live again.. so matter what I suffer in this life .. it’s doesn’t even compare to my eternal life..
Yea I thought my blogging would be better but I see now I do have a lot to blog about.. So stay tune for more Out Crawls Angy..