I Watch

cryingThe fight is hard enough without adding more to it.. I once looked at you with loving eyes.. I remember telling you that my life didn’t start until you got home from work.. even though everyday I was sinking deeper and deeper into depression.. I still try to be a woman to you.. I gave you my love because I needed you to give me hope to hang on.. I watched as over time you grow cold to me.. the one who gave you a better life.. I watched how you used my depression against me and I couldn’t fight back.. I watch as the days went and you came home and would not open your mouth to say a word to me.. I watch you lay in the bed yet refusing to lay beside me.. I watched as the tears rolled down my face because I couldn’t understand what I had done so wrong.. to make you treat me this way.. I watched as you stayed out all night and I packed your bags and put you out.. my heart had finally had enough.. and then I watched as the darkness crept in all I could do was think about you.. how it was all I could do to function, to live without you.. I watched how my bed became my life not wanting to leave it.. I watched as you refused my calls.. until you needed me.. I watched my life become lost of who I was.. and I watch as now you come back into my life on your terms.. and I watch as I accept it.. powerless to say no.. to tell you that you had your chance to be apart of my life and instead of building me up.. you tried to destroyed me I before you left me.. and yet I still allow you use me as I watch.. but there is something inside me that want let me just watch.. something inside me wants me to break free.. to tell you as I watched you walk out on me.. it’s your time to watch me as I walk out on you.. we are never as powerless as we feel.. I know I can do this .. I just have to believe as I watch me walk out.. 

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4 thoughts on “I Watch

  1. It’s so painful to watch all that unfold, I felt for you, you will still be who you are without him, so I advice you to be strong and move on with your life. Maybe you both are not meant for each other, you will someday meet someone who appreciates you for who you are…..

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Wow! I’m all inn, mind heart feet and all. You’re Unfolding you went deep inside and you’re digging pain out and burying it with the same dirt. Good for you getting this one out brought healing.

    Liked by 1 person

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