imageWell gurl I thought I would give you a call and drop some knowledge on somebody.. like me cause I could use it.. my day has felt some what calm.. I still have thoughts of him coming into my head.. but my daughter ask a tough questions..

Mom why do you think, he’s the best you can do .. why don’t you think you deserve better.. she said well you do .. and I’m here to make you see it..

He isn’t the best I can do.. I believe that.. it’s just I felt responsible for him.. in so many ways.. and I just knew God sent him to me.. to help me out of depression and deal with the pain.. but like I said that was not the case..

I know I deserve better.. but I’ve never felt pretty or sexy.. It’s seems like my body was never good enough.. growing up I was emotionally abused.. and so I could never see myself  as nothing but an ugly mistake.. I feel better about myself but it’s hard to be around a group of  black men I don’t know.. I don’t speak.. I just look down at the ground or floor.. I feel awkward even now..

I read a blog today.. http://www.tyronepierre.com  “You’re As Beautiful As The Moon” and it was a beautiful read about body types and shapes.. and I’m not gonna tell the rest go the link and read for yourself.. it’s really nice..

So Drea and I working on my outside.. and Jesus is working on the inside.. so I’m be alright..

original me

2 thoughts on “FEELINGS

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