CanYou Help Me, Sista Gurl

imageI think I have been validated in the worse possible way a woman can be.. I think I was raped.. but if I know him and I have a on going relationship with him .. is it rape sista..

I told him NO.. I told him to STOP.. I told him just let me go home.. and yet he forced his self on me.. calling me names, saying I could leave and not letting me.. and starting it all over again.. humiliating me and making me feel less than a woman.. he said I was his Bitch.. and for the first time I fear that I would truly be taken from my children, for my grandchildren.. He made me say that I was his Bitch.. do you know how humiliating that is for a woman, Sista..

But how is rape .. when I was there of my own free will.. even when it was over I did not leave.. I was told we was having good sex and I started crying.. but how is that when I said NO.. when I begged him to please stop.. why didn’t I leave.. why didn’t I call for help..

Sista, I don’t know what to think anymore.. this is all I can write for now.. my mind is a lost right now.. 

 

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Original me

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30 thoughts on “CanYou Help Me, Sista Gurl

  1. Hi Ann,
    This to me is definitely rape. I’m so sorry you had to endure that pain and self humiliation. No one diserves to go through that. To answer your question, yes rape can happen with someone you know: a friend, boyfriend or husband. No means NO. You did. Or leave because your body froze. You were in shock. You didn’t really realize or maybe did not want to believe what had just happened to you was rape. Please don’t blame yourself. You said NO. He was in the wrong. Have you told anyone close to you about what happened? Are you fearful to be around this person now? Would you be willing to go to the hospital or press charges? Please speak with a family member or friend who can support you in this difficult and maybe confusing time. Best of luck to you and please remain strong. Xo

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Yea I have told a couple of people that I trust.. yes I am very fearful of him.. but I can’t drag my family through this.. and besides I don’t want anyone else to know I just want it to go away but it want.. thank you..

      Liked by 2 people

  2. HI ANN,
    I agree with the above comment unfortunately this is a case of rape. Rape is an abuse of power. The second you said no, stop etc and he ignored you he has abused his power over you x I’m so very sorry this has happened to you x whether you were there of your own free will to start with the moment you said no anything after that was not consensual x I hope you seek help as well as seek justice x

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Thank you for replying.. I know that I need help to get over this because I trusted him as a person and my friend.. but I just want to forget about it and him..

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You need to report it because most rapists are multiple offenders. If he did it to you he could of done it to someone else. But I have to say even if you don’t report it it is a long road ahead. I was nearly raped myself and I still think about that night and what happened and it still haunts me and yet the person who nearly raped me got away with it. For what ever it is worth will support you anyway I can x

        Liked by 2 people

      2. I don’t know if I can report it.. I don’t wanna put my family through this.. and truthfully I’m scared of him.. Do you understand that part.. I’m scared..

        Liked by 2 people

      3. I completely understand huni but any form of abuse in the UK at least the police tend to apply directly for a restraining order x but if you do not feel safe enough to report it then do not put your safety at risk. It is not up to your family by the way to report it it happened to you. It is up to you whether you are safe secure and OK to report it x

        Liked by 2 people

      4. I don’t think I am .. he has done stuff in his past.. and even when I was there he took out his gun.. so I am just praying God keeps him away from him..

        Liked by 2 people

  3. Yes. This was definitely a case of rape. Fear causes us to do things we wouldn’t ordinarily do. You said he told you that you could leave but then didn’t allow you to. He coerced you into saying things you didn’t feel and forced you into sex and to stay when you didn’t want to. No one has the right to another person’s body without consent whether regardless of where they are. Your entering his dwelling of your own free will in no way implied consent to sex. I agree with the other commenters. Report it and seek justice and help for dealing with these emotions. Writing can be cathartic. So keep writing.

    Liked by 3 people

      1. I’m trying but I was there.. I told him that I didn’t want to have sex with him anymore since all we can ever be is friends.. I bought up the past of how he hurt me.. but I thought everything was cool.. but that was about his power and showing me that no matter what I say I belong to him and he took my everything..

        Liked by 2 people

      2. You did nothing wrong you said no, you withdrew your consent and at that point he should of let you go. Everything after that is survival you are not responsible for wanting to survive especially if you were immediately concerned for your life x

        Liked by 2 people

      3. As I said I was scared because I never seen this side of him.. I mean he has pulled my hair before and grab me.. but person Sunday night was strong and powerful.. and for the first time I was scared of not seeing my family again.. He is evil.. I know that now..

        Liked by 1 person

      4. I told him to stop.. he had me in a position that I was finding it hard to breathe.. I don’t know why he would do this to me.. I have been nothing but good to him.. my cries went under answered..

        Liked by 1 person

  4. The most important thing to remember is that you survived. It sounds strange but the safest thing to do when you realise you can’t get away is play along as that is less likely to end in your death… You survived now you need to heal however you feel you need to. Speak to someone, ask for help or even take some self dense classes x don’t let anyone dictate to you how you heal but take positive not negative steps but I say this and I must say it very strongly, if he comes near you again do not let him in your home and dial 911 immediately and file a restraining order x your safety comes first x

    Liked by 1 person

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