Examine Myself

imageAll this time I was hating you.. I was hating me.. I was hating you for not loving me .. but I didn’t love me either so how did I know what love was.. I was hating you for leaving me but I left me along time ago.. All this time I was hurting over you.. I was really hurting over me and the reflection of the self I saw in the mirror.. all the time I was blaming you.. I should have been blaming me.. blaming me for the control I gave to you over me..

See I finally see just as you gave nothing to me.. you took nothing from me without my permission.. it was me that willingly looked the other way as you tore what little self esteem I had apart.. It was me that allowed you to choke away everything that I was without ever touching me.. I realize that I gave you permission to destroy me day after day by allowing your words to cut deep than any mark I could ever put on myself.. my words built you up and yours made me question the very essence of my womanhood.. 

I learned no matter how I wanna hate you.. and I do.. I no longer blame you.. the blame lies at my feet.. see hating you releases me from examining me.. it releases me from finding me.. only when I examine myself can I find self love and healing for my soul.. FOR THEY DO NOTHING WITH OUT OUR PERMISSION..

The Original Me Ann..

My relationship Notes..

 

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7 thoughts on “Examine Myself

    1. My relationship notes 📝 as long as I stay in hate and blaming him.. I can not heal from the abuse.. or see the pattern in another man.. this post is mainly for me.. but someone else gets something out of it I’m blessed.. just my feelings.. I hope I made it a little clearer not sure..

      Liked by 1 person

  1. I’m not being mean but you can look back through my blog and and see some post.. this is something I don’t want to discuss now.. but feel free to look through my blog.. and a heads up I write a lot in the first person.. but some are about him.. be blessed..

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