I hate gloomy days because it brings out my feelings even worse.. I loved to say after all he’s done to me that I’m over him.. I’d love to say that I don’t give him a second thought but most days he’s my only thought.. I’d love to say that I hate him and mean it but I’m not capable of hating him or anyone.. I’d love to say that I am a better woman because of him.. I’d love to say that being with him made me feel whole again.. I’d love to say that he lifted my depression and took away my pain.. but I’d only be lying because he did none of those things.. I’d love to say he was an artist in the bedroom and was his greatest creation but again I’d only be lying to myself and you .. I’d love to say that he help me blossom into a beautiful flower or a butterfly.. but again he did none of those things.. I’d love to say that when he left I was better for it.. but I wasn’t I just wanted to lay down and die.. I’d love to say that I never gave him control over me but again it would only be a lie..
What I can say is I’m still here.. still praying.. still fighting to let go of a one sided relationship that left me more depressed and devastated.. I think his goal was to control what life I had.. and even now he still tries but I’ve decided that he’s not worth it.. he’s was nothing I was looking for to began with.. but when you lost no one can find you or save you but Jesus Christ..
The Original Me Ann..