Cigarette hang from the side of her mouth.. she sits in the corner of her mind locked away from the pain.. from the feelings of despair and hopelessness.. everything she ever loved is gone in a matter of seconds..
She has no one to blame but herself.. the voices in her head told her not to leave her safe place .. to stay a little longer better yet to not go back at all.. but she didn’t listen she thought it was safe to come out.. to be herself again, to rejoin the world but she was wrong..
Seems like the very someone’s she loved the most left her one by one.. they said they loved her and was glad to have her back.. but she could never be as strong as they wanted her to be.. she could never be the woman who left.. she was either too strong or to weak.. and she notice that she loved to hard or not at all..
She had come to a place that she preferred to be alone again because that was the safest place to be.. she didn’t want to have anyone in her life anymore so she sit in the corner of her mind..
Some still wonder why she gave up.. what could have happened that she preferred to live a life of emptiness.. a place of darkness or so they say..
She just got tired of dealing with chronic depression and pain.. She got tired of the meds to put her to sleep and to wake her up.. meds that if you don’t take them on time your sleep is disturbed by demons and your pain is worse than you can imagine.. She just got tired of living a lie by saying everything is okay.. I’m good because that’s what they want to here.. She just got tired of being a burden to the ones that she loved.. so she returned to the corner of her mind..
Remember everyone gets tired.. and some of us are wrestling with things you can not begin to imagine.. Everyone has a story from beginning to end .. a lot of us need to start at the beginning instead of choosing what part of a person life to read..
She just got tired..
I thought I would write this from two view points part two comes tomorrow..
The Original Me Ann