Today

Today is all I have to give me.. I woke up with darkness all around me.. see that’s what depression is darkness and all I wanted to do was stay in bed.. I put on some praise worship music and then I put a slide show of my photos on.. and the memories made me smile to see how much Kohen, Kyrie and Kaysen have grown.. memories of graduation and the family cookouts.. I was reminded of how quickly everything and everyone changes in twinkling of an eye.. how the only important things in life is a solid foundation with Christ, family and a handful of true friends..

So Today isn’t about me or my depression or my chronic pain but I made it about this guy.. who without ever knowing it,is one of the reasons I was able to get up..

I know it’s hard especially when you constantly going through pain and depression when it’s every single minute of the day.. But you must find a reason to live no matter how hard it is..

The Original Me Ann

Battle

Will it ever stop.. are will this is life forever.. the days of being care free have been long gone.. the laughter is only enjoyed for a second.. the smile that tries to hide the pain, the disappointment of the life you dream of gone in a matter of minutes to no fault of your own but it’s always in the back of your mind did I do something wrong..

Will the battle ever end.. Battles of tears that fall uncontrollably.. Battles to put one foot in front of the other.. Battles to hold on when you wanna give up..

Battles that you must win if not for yourself.. for the ones who are fighting the Battle with you..

The Original Me Ann

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Starting Over

Well first let say I have a headache.. I woke up with it.. 

Now moving on..

Starting over can be the hardest thing to do.. but it can also be exciting.. Starting over gives you a chance to look back and learn from your mistakes.. 

For me I don’t think I chose 50 to start over I think it chose me.. It has shown me even with limitations.. I can still be free in my spirit and my mind.. It has shown me that I am still the butterfly.. I have released so much of my past hurts and failures.. I have also released people from their duty of loving me as only God can which is perfectly.. I place no expectations on man to give me the love I need for I know believe that they can only love and show love as they were taught and know how too.. 

I now know that the greatest love outside of Jehovah the Father, Son and Holy Spirit is self love..

So see I AM THAT ONE TO LOVE ME COMPLETELY..

The Original Me Ann

#Fiftyknowledge

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Running

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Where can I run when there’s no one to run to.. Where can I run when there are no arms open wide.. Where can I run when all I see is darkness.. Where can I run when there is no one to hold on to.. Where can I run when I can’t find a hand to grasp on to.. Where can I run when it’s cold outside and the rain want stop..

Where can I run when I’m all out of breath.. You were my last hope but like so many others you faded into the night..

So where can I run when there is no one holding the light..

The Original Me Ann

#Fiftyknowledge

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