Today

Today is all I have to give me.. I woke up with darkness all around me.. see that’s what depression is darkness and all I wanted to do was stay in bed.. I put on some praise worship music and then I put a slide show of my photos on.. and the memories made me smile to see how much Kohen, Kyrie and Kaysen have grown.. memories of graduation and the family cookouts.. I was reminded of how quickly everything and everyone changes in twinkling of an eye.. how the only important things in life is a solid foundation with Christ, family and a handful of true friends..

So Today isn’t about me or my depression or my chronic pain but I made it about this guy.. who without ever knowing it,is one of the reasons I was able to get up..

I know it’s hard especially when you constantly going through pain and depression when it’s every single minute of the day.. But you must find a reason to live no matter how hard it is..

The Original Me Ann

Battle

Will it ever stop.. are will this is life forever.. the days of being care free have been long gone.. the laughter is only enjoyed for a second.. the smile that tries to hide the pain, the disappointment of the life you dream of gone in a matter of minutes to no fault of your own but it’s always in the back of your mind did I do something wrong..

Will the battle ever end.. Battles of tears that fall uncontrollably.. Battles to put one foot in front of the other.. Battles to hold on when you wanna give up..

Battles that you must win if not for yourself.. for the ones who are fighting the Battle with you..

The Original Me Ann

Picture Pinterest

No Strength Left

Today has been a bad day.. my grandma has been gone six years.. and it’s been almost five years since my health has failed me..

I feel just giving up because no one understands the pain and depression.. they want to project their feelings as my feelings but I am chronically depressed because of this damn chronic pain.. I’m tired of popping pills that barely touch the pain..

Three weeks ago I took some morphine pills in hope to go to sleep and not wake up.. I could not hold on for my kids, my grand babies or family but I reached out to my family (sister) .. I let my daughter down but I was so tired of everything and my strength was gone and all I could do was cry out to God ..

I know that if I ever attempt it again it will be my last.. I will have lost the fight for myself and my family.. I don’t think it’s the weak who commit suicide but the strong who one day for one second have no strength left to fight..

I pray I will stay strong..

The Original Me Ann

Hello

It’s been a minute.. and so much has happened but I wanted to let the Blogosphere know that I’m still here.. they say setback sets you up for a comeback.. well I should be on top of the world soon..

Remember guys the holidays are the hardest when those dealing with depression and suicidal thoughts .. so keep watchful eyes on your family, friends, co-workers even a stranger that you may come in contact with.. as hard as it maybe for those of us to believe that someone cares us they do..

So as you go through out your day always look for ways to show yourself friendly and if you can give nothing else but a smile ,a listening ear ,as you walk away a warm hug.. and a genuine I’m praying with you.. just know it may save someone life..

I’ve been thinking about you “Say what you mean” praying all is well..

Blessings to you in Blogosphere

The Original Me Ann

Photo Pinterest

#Icantbreathe

Happiness

Sometimes Happiness is found in the smallest moments..

I don’t know what I would do without them.. The oldest Kohen never wants to take pictures.. he told me I cheated but look at that smile.. and Bugg has run around naked just about all day.. and the baby Chunk Chunk is looking like he just got caught.. their dad just came and got them and their mom so my house is empty and quiet.. I miss them already..

I know first hand with depression it’s not easy and sometimes you wanna give up on life.. I still have nights that my son lays on the bed with me until I fall asleep.. days that it’s hard to fight.. but then I think what if I give up.. who’s gonna be grandma.. and with just a word make everything better well right now it’s a kiss.. so of course I gotta fight.. and everyday believe that this my day for healing..

The Original Me Ann..

The Struggle of Unforgiveness

imageAnd you, being dead in your trespasses and the uncircumcision of your flesh, He has made alive together with Him, having forgiven you all trespasses (Colossians 2:11-14).

From God’s perspective, forgiveness is immediate. However, we must desire His forgiveness.

Father, I sometimes struggle with unforgiveness. Help me to hear Your still, small voice to direct my confession and obey the Spirit’s call.

Charles Stanley

Pathways to His Presence

The Original Me Ann..

Picture-Pinterest

Schizophrenia 2..

I haven’t felt like posting a lot lately but I’m trying to stay active.. I had goals for this month but I don’t think I’m gonna reach them..

I’ve trying read about the different mental illness and bring awareness to them.. no one should suffer in shame.. so this month I’ve been reading about schizophrenia.. I found this on Pinterest..

The Original Me Ann..

image

 

Easy exercises that keep you young

Resistance training builds muscle and strengthens your bones. When you add burst of cardio, you’ll also trigger a release of growth hormones, which can keep you feeling lean and energized but decrease naturally as you age. Try doing two to three sets of each exercise, with 30 high knees in between, before moving on to the next one. ( High knees are like jogging in plac, but you want to drive your knees toward your chest.) Do this routine three days a week, and pretty soon everyone’s going to want to know your secret.

1. Princess Lunge- Holding a set of dumbbells, stand with your feet together. Take a big step back with your left foot, bring it directly behind your right (like a curtsy); bend your knees, gently touching the back one to the ground. Press through your right heel and return to standing. Do 10 reps; switch sides. The curtsy in this move helps improve coordination and balance- so essential as you age.

image

2. Squat-Don’t shy away from squats if your joints are feeling achy. When you squat properly, it’ll actually strengthen your knees. Stand with your feet shoulder-width apart, toes pointed out slightly; hold a set of 5-10 pound dumbbells at shoulder height. Lower into a squat, drawing your hips back and down until they sit just below your knees. Press through your heel and return to standing. Do 15 reps.

image

3. Bridge up- This exercise strengthens your glutes, quads, hamstring, abs-muscles that surround your hips and lower back, shielding them from injury. Lie on your back with knees bent and your feet hip-width apart, arms down by your sides. Squeeze your glutes and push your lower back into the floor; press through your heels as you slowly raise your hips toward the ceiling. Hold for a second, then lower your hips back down to the ground. Do 15 reps.

image

4. KettleBell Swing- It’s magic for your posterior chain, the muscles in your back and core that give you good posture, and can help prevent that dreaded hump. Stand with your feet spread wide and back rigid; hold a kettlebell or dumbbell in front of you. Bend your knees slightly and lean forward with your hips; then, keeping your arms and back straight, swing the weight back through your legs and up as high as you can, lengthening your body at the top of the move. Continue swinging for 10 reps.

image

5. Plank Riser- Get into forearm plank, elbows aligned with your shoulder; draw your belly button toward your spine and squeeze your glutes so your is parallel with the ground. Lift your arm and plant your palm on the ground, then do the same with your left arm, ending in a push-up position. Lower back down, first with right arm, then left. Do 10 reps, alternating sides. Planks are a mom’s best friend: They target your transverse abdominis, the inner abs that wrap your entire core, cinching your waist even as you hit middle age.

 

 

Red/ Body/ Health Coach ~ Heidi Powell

Photos – womenshealthandfitness.com.au

The Original Me Ann..