Today

Today is all I have to give me.. I woke up with darkness all around me.. see that’s what depression is darkness and all I wanted to do was stay in bed.. I put on some praise worship music and then I put a slide show of my photos on.. and the memories made me smile to see how much Kohen, Kyrie and Kaysen have grown.. memories of graduation and the family cookouts.. I was reminded of how quickly everything and everyone changes in twinkling of an eye.. how the only important things in life is a solid foundation with Christ, family and a handful of true friends..

So Today isn’t about me or my depression or my chronic pain but I made it about this guy.. who without ever knowing it,is one of the reasons I was able to get up..

I know it’s hard especially when you constantly going through pain and depression when it’s every single minute of the day.. But you must find a reason to live no matter how hard it is..

The Original Me Ann

Morning Devotion

img_1660We pray and ask God to keep and protect the ones we love.. we ask Him for blessing after blessing.. but do we Worship Him..

Worship is celebrating Him as Creator and thanking Him for all He created.. as you get your prayer on .. don’t forget to worship the Creator and Sustainer of your life..  

 

Original Me..

Survival Kit

imageI thank God that I can see me coming through.. Yall just don’t know it’s been along hard road.. I stayed in the valley longer than I should have.. but God didn’t give up on me, He just let me wonder around lost until I decided to return home.. that’s the great thing about God.. He said he would never leave us or forsake us and He meant it (Joshua 1:5)(Matthew 28:20)..

I felt like I would never see me again.. but the devil is a lie.. because when I hear things that come out of my mouth.. I know I’m here and I’m back in full force..

I’m learning everything happens for a reason.. I know that I have a chemical imbalance and I feel that has a lot to do with my depression which is unfortunately something that’s apart of my life..  so that I can help others.. but it was never meant for me to live in it.. does that mean I won’t have days where I will want to lock the world, family and friends out, no of course I will.. will there be days that I cried, yes.. but I will no longer ask why me God.. but instead why not me.. it’s okay to have those days but it’s how we handle them that counts..

Have a Depression Survival Kit ready

  1. Your Bible
  2. Pray your favorite scriptures
  3. Have a pick me up friend.. someone who makes you laugh..
  4. Get up wash your hair, shower, and brush your teeth..
  5. Walk to the front door open it and breathe in and out..
  6. Listen to upbeat music.. for me I love gospel rap..
  7. Eat at least one well balanced meal..
  8. Do something nice for someone else.. to take your mind off of you..
  9. Curl up in your favorite throw.. and catch up on reading blog post..
  10. Rest, regroup and know it’s okay to feel the way you do.. Tomorrow is gonna be a great day..

What are some of your depression survival tools that you use.. feel free to share them in the comment box..

Original Me..

Goodnight

I make plans.. and the fall through.. I plan for this and that but nothing seems to come of it.. I guess I’m more of a spare of the moment kind of girl.. I seem to do better.. I’ve got change make some changes in 2017.. don’t get me wrong.. I write my day out.. it’s the following it I have a problem with.. oh well I’ll try again tomorrow.. goodnight and sweet dreams.. and enjoy the ones God have blessed you with.. stay strong and remember one moment at a time..

original me

My Day

Well it started off as normal as can be for me babies and kohen.. went for another injection in my back on my right side.. we’ll let’s just say this morning I was in tears.. my appointment was at 11:00 and they called me back on time .. but I had to lay there for 45 minutes before he came in by then I was in tears.. I still don’t know what’s going on with my upper back , neck and shoulders.. but I’m pressing on because Jesus is the reason for the season.. I’m trying to impress that on Kohen my oldest grandson.. yea the toys are great but this the day we set aside as Christ our Savior birthday.. so this year we are going to do.. “The Night Before Christmas ” and ” The Birth of Jesus.” So now it’s off to the doctor with my baby girl..

I’m running behind on emails and reading blogs but I’m but hopefully I will have time to put some reading and commenting in.. I love to comment especially when it touches my heart which is often.. Well Blogosphere wishing you a great day.. 

 

original me..

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Words set the course for the Future

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Obviously, when we talk about the future, we know it is something that has not happened yet or something that is yet to come to pass. One of the greatest tragedies in life is to judge the future by the present. But here again, the enemy has found a loophole in keeping God’s children in a state of flux about the future, simply because the present is somewhat chaotic.

God wants to give you answers and connect with you in a way, so personally, that you know beyond all doubt that he cares about you and everything you are facing in your life. And most importantly, He is in the midst of the trial, pain, hurt, and loss.
God spoke these words to the prophet Jeremiah, “For I know the thoughts and plans that I have for you, says the LORD, thoughts and plans for welfare and peace not for evil, to give you hope in your outcome.” (Jeremiah 29:11 AMP).

God’s word of hope, peace and welfare, spoken to Jeremiah for the children of Israel, are so powerful. The children of Israel were living in a time of great despair and hopelessness but God was telling them that though their present situation wasn’t the best, his plans for their future were very good. We see the love and mercy of a great God, offering hope by giving them the promise to hold on to, through it all. God understood that they could be tempted to give up and give in, and with that knowledge, He gave them a promise.

I want to encourage you, here, it does not matter how bad the situation is or how far gone it is, if you hold onto the promises of God, you are guaranteed a bright and even better future. The powerful principle God was teaching the children of Israel was that they should not judge their hopes for the future on the present restrictions and obstacles. Speak the promise to yourself daily; remind yourself that this is not final because God has a good plan for your future!

Prayer of Creative Words
Father, today I decree and declare that the present situations and circumstances I am facing will not determine my future to be a discouraging end. I decree and declare that in this present pain lies purpose for my future because my hope is based on a promise from You.

Holy Bible
Words.They Become You Devotional~Lisa Singh

Picture~Pinterest

original me

Give Me a Life of Brokenness

imageWhen we look at ours lives sometimes it’s easy to see a life of brokenness..

We say the system is broken.. our marriage is broken.. our kids our broken.. our church is broken.. our jobs our broken.. our relationship with family and friends our broken.. we go back to past relationships that are still broken..

Then their are those who live in a state of brokenness.. their lives have been altered by the death of a love one, they have been victimized, they suffered from a debilitating disease, they suffer from chronic depression and pain, they are hopeless because of their brokenness..

But as I sit along with many others in my state of brokenness.. some who will never admit they are broken..

I began to remember that God lives in brokenness.. I began to remember that Moses was broken.. but he lead the children of Israel out of Egypt.. I began to remember that David was broken.. but he was a remember as a man after Gods heart.. I began to remember that Job was broken.. but yet he was considered righteous by God.. I began to remember that Paul was broken.. but yet he wrote the majority of the New Testament.. I began to remember that Peter was broken.. but he went on to be a witness for Christ..

So no matter how broken you think you are.. remember that there is nothing to hard for God.. and I know we often ask why me.. I know I do.. and when I really wanted to feel sorry for myself.. I say this can’t be my life .. what did I do wrong.. Oh God why are you punishing me..

But God said I live in your brokenness.. in your brokenness it is then that I receive my glory.. in your brokenness I receive my praise.. It is in our brokenness that God longs to dwell.. remember Jesus said he came for the sick that the well didn’t need a doctor.. so when you feel all is lost  hold on.. and remember it is in our brokenness we find God.. 

Lord my God, I called to you for help, and you healed me. (Psalm 30:2) 

He heals the broken-hearted and binds up their wounds. (Psalm 147:3)

He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away. (Revelation 21:4)

“He himself bore our sin” in his body on the cross, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness, by his wounds you have been healed”.

 

original me

Time Spent

Today was a day.. where I had to make myself move.. but we all know it wasn’t me but God..

I often feel like I have no friends because my bestie works, goes to school, a mother and wife.. so her life is very busy at the moment..

My oldest son who I lean on to much.. works seven days a week.. but he is the only one who truly understands me and my condition.. sometimes I feel like I put to much on him.. but God knows he has held me together so many times.. he knows I am sick and he understands that my life has changed.. today he made time to go with me to the grocery store.. and most of all just to listen to me.. and it felt good to have someone listen to me and not judge me..

So after my son left for work.. I some how was given my Love Bugg.. it amazes me that he puts a smile on my face constantly.. it’s like all this week depression was on me.. missing my grandma really bad.. just when I think I’m okay and it’s like I still have my days where I would give everything to just have her here with me.. that’s why I strive to be the best grandma cause I had the best..

I have been feeling depressed really bad this week.. I don’t know if it’s the Percocet or just me.. I’m experiencing headaches, and if I take it to late I can’t sleep.. I really don’t think it doing a lot for the pain either .. I still can’t stand up for long.. and sitting is not to much better.. I have really been feeling sh*** these last two weeks.. so maybe I should get my pain med changed..

Life is crazy.. and I still keep telling myself this can’t be life.. this can’t be how the story ends..

original me..

Here’s you some Love too..

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Good Morning, Good Morning

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I don’t know you all remember are not but I’m on my turning FIFTY tour in five months so I have been playing around with makeup which I have never wore before.. so here is my before picture up below .. and my now picture up top.. still learning ho to do it right.. YouTube and watching my daughter.. I am slowly learning how..

Enough of that.. Be blessed.. do what you can do.. and trust God with everything else.. never too old to start over.. even when you feel like giving up ,don’t find a reason to fight.. to live..

original me..