Believe

So how do I began this story. I will start here at the heart of things. I have always loved my breast . I mean it’s part of what makes up the woman’s body. It’s what we wait for as teenagers to say hey my body developing into womanhood. I for one have always loved mine . I had very big breast that was hard on my neck and shoulders then I had a reduction.. and I still loved them small.. it took some adjusting for my family to get use too.. but now the thought of not having any at all scares me.. of course I know I’m not my breast.. and it’s the only way that I will feel at ease with this LCIS is to Illuminates the problem and give myself a better chance of not developing breast cancer.. yes there are other options but I just don’t feel like I could take the waiting ever six months or the cancer pill.. so I know I’m making the best decision for me and family..

I just wish that I could just get my life back to normal.. I keep telling myself that this is not how my story ends.. that I will experience the goodness of Jehovah in the land of the living for death and the grave can not praise Him or tell of His mercy.. so I have believe that my day is coming where I will share my testimony of His goodness.. of His favor over my life..

The Original Ann

Can I Whisper 

Can I whisper it in your ear.. Can I tell you how I feel.. is it oaky if  I come close to you.. Can I whisper it in ear the thoughts I have about us.. Is it okay if I come close you.. Can I place my hand there, no there.. There where the soul of your emotions begins.. Can I whisper it in your ear.. the raw and real truth of two souls coming together.. 

Just let me whisper it in your ear..

The Original Me Ann

Picture- Pinterest “My Black Art”

#Fiftyknowledge

Starting Over

Well first let say I have a headache.. I woke up with it.. 

Now moving on..

Starting over can be the hardest thing to do.. but it can also be exciting.. Starting over gives you a chance to look back and learn from your mistakes.. 

For me I don’t think I chose 50 to start over I think it chose me.. It has shown me even with limitations.. I can still be free in my spirit and my mind.. It has shown me that I am still the butterfly.. I have released so much of my past hurts and failures.. I have also released people from their duty of loving me as only God can which is perfectly.. I place no expectations on man to give me the love I need for I know believe that they can only love and show love as they were taught and know how too.. 

I now know that the greatest love outside of Jehovah the Father, Son and Holy Spirit is self love..

So see I AM THAT ONE TO LOVE ME COMPLETELY..

The Original Me Ann

#Fiftyknowledge

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Running

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Where can I run when there’s no one to run to.. Where can I run when there are no arms open wide.. Where can I run when all I see is darkness.. Where can I run when there is no one to hold on to.. Where can I run when I can’t find a hand to grasp on to.. Where can I run when it’s cold outside and the rain want stop..

Where can I run when I’m all out of breath.. You were my last hope but like so many others you faded into the night..

So where can I run when there is no one holding the light..

The Original Me Ann

#Fiftyknowledge

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Poems

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Craving

 

imageThe craving want stop.. no matter how hard I try.. it’s a constant begging from my body to make the pain go away.. what do I say no you can’t have it, not today.. when the pain is so bad that it wakes me up.. craving something to make it go away..

When will the craving stop.. when will I be whole again.. I don’t know all I know is for now the craving is killing me..

The Original Me Ann

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Create

imageThe one thing a person wants most is to be in control of their own thoughts and actions.. Nobody wants to be vulnerable but yet it happens to even the strongest of us..

I create from my pain and move with the fact.. that I have been a willing participant in my own pain..

original me