No Me

imageI thought about you today longer than I should have.. I thought nice it would be to lay down and let the water cover me.. to feel your cold embrace and let it swallow me up.. I thought how nice it would be to be free from this life and pass on to the next.. letting go of the pain and the hurt.. letting go of feeling like my mind will never be the same.. a body that no longer listens to me but has a mind of its on.. no longer can I be the one thing that has kept me going a grandma.. because I allowed words without thought to escape my mouth.. words that were full of hate and anger.. that were meant to hurt another person who I love dearly.. so I allowed my words to possibly destroy instead of heal.. so in process of causing her pain.. I began to see my own.. and yes I wanted to be at peace to escape from my pain, my hurt, my words that crushed another’s person spirit.. sometimes we take the easy way so they say.. and sometimes we just feel like the world would be a better place if there was no ME..

The Original Me Ann..

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Close My Eyes

imageLet me close my eyes and see your face.. let me sit in silence and see your face.. let lay in bed and look at your space.. let close my eyes and think of your face.. let close my eyes and see how it really was.. me needing you and you giving me just enough to keep me holding on.. let me sit in silence and remember how your words were always demanding.. let me close my eyes and see you the real you.. not a fantasy I want to create of how you can be.. let me close my eyes and not see you anymore..

The Original Me Ann..

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