Survival Kit

imageI thank God that I can see me coming through.. Yall just don’t know it’s been along hard road.. I stayed in the valley longer than I should have.. but God didn’t give up on me, He just let me wonder around lost until I decided to return home.. that’s the great thing about God.. He said he would never leave us or forsake us and He meant it (Joshua 1:5)(Matthew 28:20)..

I felt like I would never see me again.. but the devil is a lie.. because when I hear things that come out of my mouth.. I know I’m here and I’m back in full force..

I’m learning everything happens for a reason.. I know that I have a chemical imbalance and I feel that has a lot to do with my depression which is unfortunately something that’s apart of my life.. ┬áso that I can help others.. but it was never meant for me to live in it.. does that mean I won’t have days where I will want to lock the world, family and friends out, no of course I will.. will there be days that I cried, yes.. but I will no longer ask why me God.. but instead why not me.. it’s okay to have those days but it’s how we handle them that counts..

Have a Depression Survival Kit ready

  1. Your Bible
  2. Pray your favorite scriptures
  3. Have a pick me up friend.. someone who makes you laugh..
  4. Get up wash your hair, shower, and brush your teeth..
  5. Walk to the front door open it and breathe in and out..
  6. Listen to upbeat music.. for me I love gospel rap..
  7. Eat at least one well balanced meal..
  8. Do something nice for someone else.. to take your mind off of you..
  9. Curl up in your favorite throw.. and catch up on reading blog post..
  10. Rest, regroup and know it’s okay to feel the way you do.. Tomorrow is gonna be a great day..

What are some of your depression survival tools that you use.. feel free to share them in the comment box..

Original Me..

Right Now

Don't you dare say
 Don't you dare say tomorrow
 Don't you dare say
 Don't you dare say tomorrow

I’m talking ’bout right now
Who’s gonna love me right now?
I’m talking ’bout this very second
I need you to love me right now

Yeah don’t you dare stay
Don’t you dare stay tomorrow
Yeah, don’t you dare stay tomorrow

Who’s gonna love me right now?
I’m talking ’bout this very second
I need you to love me right now

Song by Emeli Sande

Original Meimage

Time Spent

Today was a day.. where I had to make myself move.. but we all know it wasn’t me but God..

I often feel like I have no friends because my bestie works, goes to school, a mother and wife.. so her life is very busy at the moment..

My oldest son who I lean on to much.. works seven days a week.. but he is the only one who truly understands me and my condition.. sometimes I feel like I put to much on him.. but God knows he has held me together so many times.. he knows I am sick and he understands that my life has changed.. today he made time to go with me to the grocery store.. and most of all just to listen to me.. and it felt good to have someone listen to me and not judge me..

So after my son left for work.. I some how was given my Love Bugg.. it amazes me that he puts a smile on my face constantly.. it’s like all this week depression was on me.. missing my grandma really bad.. just when I think I’m okay and it’s like I still have my days where I would give everything to just have her here with me.. that’s why I strive to be the best grandma cause I had the best..

I have been feeling depressed really bad this week.. I don’t know if it’s the Percocet or just me.. I’m experiencing headaches, and if I take it to late I can’t sleep.. I really don’t think it doing a lot for the pain either .. I still can’t stand up for long.. and sitting is not to much better.. I have really been feeling sh*** these last two weeks.. so maybe I should get my pain med changed..

Life is crazy.. and I still keep telling myself this can’t be life.. this can’t be how the story ends..

original me..

Here’s you some Love too..





Rain what is it about you that drains me of my energy.. what is about you that makes me content to be alone.. and at the same time snuggled up next to someone.. what is it about you Rain, that replenishes and refreshes even having the power to revive that which was dead.. what is it about you Rain, that makes people dance in it and seek cover at the same time.. what is it about you Rain that we wish to make love in.. as we seek to come out of the cold.. what is it about you Rain.. that’s makes me close my eyes and listen to your beautiful sound.. Rain I may never understand how you draw me into you.. on a hot summers day to cool me off.. Only you Rain can I love at one moment.. and hate the next.. On a day like today there is only you and I .. as I listen to you pound to the ground.. the sweet sound of Rain..


picture: pexel.com

original me